I am still laughing!

I got this story from my sister-in-law a few days ago, I had seen it before, but it was still funny to read it again- and today I keep thinking about it and laughing, you will understand why at the end :)

I Love Mustard. (This is a true story. If you have children you will probably relate to this father.)

As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection: a thick slab of ham on a fresh bun with crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive,light brown, gourmet mustard.

The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I carried it to the table in our backyard, picked it up with both hands but was stopped by my wife suddenly at my side.

"Here, hold Johnny (our six-week-old son) while I get my sandwich," she said.

I had him balanced between my left elbow and shoulder and was reaching again for the ham sandwich when I noticed a streak of mustard on my fingers.

I love mustard.

I had no napkin

I licked it off.

It was not mustard.

No man ever put a baby down faster. It was the first and only time I have sprinted with my tongue protruding. With a washcloth in each hand, I did the sort of routine shoeshine boys do; only I did it on my tongue.

Later, after she stopped crying from laughing so hard, my wife said,



"Now you know why they call that fancy mustard.........Poupon."

So today in Sacrament meeting, I noticed kaleb had a smelly diaper, rather than running and changing him right away, I waited for a few minutes while I read over my sunday school lesson(another story), and to make sure he was finished. Jeff was holding Kaleb. I looked over and Kaleb was falling a sleep so I whisper to Jeff, "He needs his butt changed before he goes to sleep" We go back and forth a minute about who should go change him, and finally I give in. I don't like to go in the middle of someone speaking, but we got a new bishopric today so they all only spoke for a few minutes and we didn't . Anyway, so I put the diaper bag on my shoulder, stand up and Jeff hands Kaleb to me, his back is against me and I am holding onto his legs. As I am walking out I feel something on my hand, great, an explosive one. Anyway I get to the bathroom and lay him down and it was all over the back of his pants and his onsie. Luckily it didn't make it to the outter one, just the "undershirt" one. He basically got a baby wipe bath. As I am cleaning him up it hits me- he was sitting on Jeffs lap! So I'm thinking hopefully it isn't all over Jeff, and if it is, has he noticed? I got him all taken care of, and head back to the chapel. Jeff slid over and I sat down by him, then trying not to grin too much I say, "Do you have poop on your pants?" He looked at me funny and then at his pants he didn't see any at first, but sure enough, there was some- in two different spots! It was HILLARIOUS! So hard not to bust up laughing right then, but we were in church :) After a few minutes Jeff was like, "Man why did you have to tell me..." and then again later, "That is not mustard!" Anyway...long story I know, but I have been laughing about it for a while, so I just thought I would share the humor!